My Sister's Keeper

-
 Last week I was waiting outside, on the bench at my museum, when a Black woman appeared. Her hair was brown and partially loc'd in a short afro that framed her face, she wore black pants and a red shirt with pink flip flops, she had a matching pink coffee cup and water bottle. She also was talking to herself out loud and sporadically. The whole bench was near empty but she chose to sit near me. I had earphones on, listening to music when I saw her and smiled. I didn't speak. I hadn't noticed yet that she was talking to herself. Maybe she wanted to engage with me but I couldn't hear her. I waited to observe her actions since I couldn't hear her words, nothing seemed threatening.
She did get up several times, leaving her pink beverages on the bench. And I won't front for a fleeting moment, I envisioned a headline featuring myself being blown to bits by a coffee cup bomb, "Black Mama of two, blown to bits by fellow Black woman."
But I shook that off quick, why should I feel afraid?
Black women have been the center of my universe since forever. Just as I write this on the bus, a Black woman threatened another woman then moved closer to me. The irony of my words aren't lost on me, so I refuse to move away. Black women can be the death of me, gladly.
I will never leave us, for I am us. I love us with a ferocity that I am still discovering but I recognize. It's familiar and sacred to me.  I will never be afraid of us because I know it's truly only us who see each other. No matter the situation I will look at Sis in the eye and she will know that not only do I come in peace but with absolute love and the utmost respect for her.

This week when I saw my afro-loc'd friend I spoke and shared breakfast with her. She smiled and conversed with me before she went into her rant, she made sure I knew it wasn't directed toward me. I stayed with her until she moved away. She knew with me she was safe and wouldn't be judged.

A phrase I read recently really resonated with me and I hope to keep in mind even when it's difficult to:
 "Queens always help each other adjust their crowns."
 No matter the circumstance, always recognize and respect each other.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It's a Wonderful Life

-
Image
The holiday season is here and along with it comes the memories of loved ones once shared. After all my reflections about Ma, I think I've finally found the words to express what it is about her passing that has been the hardest to reconcile. Ma saw the best in me, even when I couldn't see it in myself. She would polish me up and give me the confidence I was missing. She, like mother nature specialized in turning coal into diamond. Perfect example of this was in 2002. I was in college, fumbling and struggling. In our daily conversations I would attempt to present my best self, but there was never any fooling her. She asked the difficult questions, to wade through my facade and found the encouraging words I needed to hear. Once it was time to come home, I remember her assessing me at the airport and immediately coming up with a plan of action to cultivate and heal wounds I hadn't even realized were there. She was my personal pit crew, able to assess and fix what ailed me unt...
Read more

The Arm Fat of Normalcy

-
Much has been brought to my attention in the weeks since my last post. Mainly pertaining to the depressive tone my posts continue to take, even months into starting this blog. After some pause, an impromptu 'therapy' session with a close family member, and some much needed introspection I believe I see my reality a bit clearer. Yes grieving sucks! The process is draining and ongoing, but over time life should regain some semblance of normality. For me it was being able to notice the little things that my kids like to do. Both my daughter and son like to play with my arm fat! My daughter has an obsession with my breasts and upper arms. Some say it is because I breast fed her too long (23 months exactly), which I know to be bull because there is no such thing! But even when I'm sleep and she wakes before me, the first thing she goes for is my arm fat. She obsessively likes rubbing it like it's a lucky rabbit's foot or the Genie's lamp from Aladdin. The irony is...
Read more

Been A Long Time...Random Gibberish

-
It's as if I took the summer off, cannot believe I haven't posted anything since August! But here I am in my post-retweet glow, Lalah Hathaway retweeted a tweet of mine on Twitter today...YAY! And last night one of my dearest friends, interviewed me for an artist expose she's working on. I had to give insights on a process that is constantly evolving and being uncovered from myself. I love her so much, she's a great listener and analyzer of thoughts. What I think is just rambles, she can break them down and turn them into precious gems. She gives my thoughts value. Everyone should have someone in their life who can do that for them. I'm surrounded by people in my home but am somehow still quite lonely. There is no one whom I fully trust with my thoughts. Maybe that's how it should be, no one is entitled to them but me but sometimes I want to discuss them hear feedback on them, maybe that's a therapy session. I will look into it. I just found a therapist, s...
Read more