CLARAFIED BUTTER

Started therapy last week, have a session tonight where I will discuss Ma. I gave my therapist a link to this blog so she could get a sense of who I am and what I'm dealing with. I write more effectively than I speak, so I'm working on that but until then she has access to these thoughts. She said she thought I write "beautifully". That compliment had me on cloud nine for a few days...lol Anyway, the idea of talking about Ma to someone new is kinda terrifying. I NEVER know when just saying her name will trigger tears or if they will even appear at all. I wish I knew which part of that was grief and which part is drama? I am fully consumed by both. I spent that last few days searching for this song that was on my wedding playlist mix CD. I finally found it online yesterday and bought the song again, been listening to it on a loop for hours. It's such a beautiful song, slow and sweet, kinda melancholy about wanting her partner to "hold my hand".  That l...

It's as if I took the summer off, cannot believe I haven't posted anything since August! But here I am in my post-retweet glow, Lalah Hathaway retweeted a tweet of mine on Twitter today...YAY! And last night one of my dearest friends, interviewed me for an artist expose she's working on. I had to give insights on a process that is constantly evolving and being uncovered from myself. I love her so much, she's a great listener and analyzer of thoughts. What I think is just rambles, she can break them down and turn them into precious gems. She gives my thoughts value. Everyone should have someone in their life who can do that for them. I'm surrounded by people in my home but am somehow still quite lonely. There is no one whom I fully trust with my thoughts. Maybe that's how it should be, no one is entitled to them but me but sometimes I want to discuss them hear feedback on them, maybe that's a therapy session. I will look into it. I just found a therapist, s...