CLARAfied Butter
My Mama is everything to me. Since she passed it's taken me a while to feel like myself again. This blog has helped tremendously. I have been writing here for almost two years and recently reviewed everything I've written. What I found was that my intention for this space is completely different from what it has become.
Initially, I thought I wanted to create a community for Moms who felt marginalized, who maybe were a little disappointed with their experiences mothering but had no place to vent those frustrations. My husband kindly pointed out to me that would be more of a 'discussion group' than a blog.
What instead was created is a space I use to vent my frustrations and failures, my disappointments and revelations on motherhood and life in general.
In this space I share things that I would've only had the nerve to say to my Mama. She was the listening ear I needed to take big steps forward, the warm embrace when life got tough. And like this space, I always felt safe enough to share how I feel no matter how unpopular the opinion or vulnerable the experience.
When I was younger I use to frequent a certain music website daily. I would be eager to see what the topic of the day was or read some gossip. Sometimes I would express myself in the poetry corner but most times I would reply to outrageous comments and news stories. Occasionally, when my Mama wanted to surprise me she would reply to my comments and even rarer than that were those special moments when she would visit the poetry corner to show me some love through her profound way with words. She chose the screen name 'Clarafied Butter' to connect with me and check out the world I loved so much back then. That was almost two decades ago.
Now that my intentions have been clarified. I'm renaming this blog, Clarafied Butter. As an homage to the great woman who is my eternal inspiration for everything. I'd like to continue using this space to heal. Bringing my darkness into the light and being unafraid to share the uncomfortable truths about myself especially as it relates to how much I miss my Mama.
To me she is the light and here I will honor her always.
Initially, I thought I wanted to create a community for Moms who felt marginalized, who maybe were a little disappointed with their experiences mothering but had no place to vent those frustrations. My husband kindly pointed out to me that would be more of a 'discussion group' than a blog.
What instead was created is a space I use to vent my frustrations and failures, my disappointments and revelations on motherhood and life in general.
In this space I share things that I would've only had the nerve to say to my Mama. She was the listening ear I needed to take big steps forward, the warm embrace when life got tough. And like this space, I always felt safe enough to share how I feel no matter how unpopular the opinion or vulnerable the experience.
When I was younger I use to frequent a certain music website daily. I would be eager to see what the topic of the day was or read some gossip. Sometimes I would express myself in the poetry corner but most times I would reply to outrageous comments and news stories. Occasionally, when my Mama wanted to surprise me she would reply to my comments and even rarer than that were those special moments when she would visit the poetry corner to show me some love through her profound way with words. She chose the screen name 'Clarafied Butter' to connect with me and check out the world I loved so much back then. That was almost two decades ago.
Now that my intentions have been clarified. I'm renaming this blog, Clarafied Butter. As an homage to the great woman who is my eternal inspiration for everything. I'd like to continue using this space to heal. Bringing my darkness into the light and being unafraid to share the uncomfortable truths about myself especially as it relates to how much I miss my Mama.
To me she is the light and here I will honor her always.
Comments
Post a Comment