She Sees Me...I See Her Too
"My Mama writes." ~ my daughter
I was blown away, that my child knew that about me! First of all, I hardly ever get to write while they are awake. Secondly, she notices the world outside of herself? LOL, I kid but really?
Motherhood is a seemingly selfless act, you give and you give and expect nothing in return, definitely not being noticed by your children but what she said taught me, that she IS paying attention. Maybe not to my words all the time but definitely to my actions. When she wakes up in the morning, it's not unusual for her to find me on the computer, writing something. I take a journal and pen with me everywhere I go and as back-up I have been known to use the notepad app on my phone. She sees me doing these things and knows that I write. She may not know what but she knows I am writing something. Her awareness has made me more aware.
The habits I want her to adopt first have to be modeled by me. Like I want her to drink more water, so now I almost exclusively drink ice water when we are home and even carry some with me, when we go out. She has noticed and has begun to drink it more often too. Now, if only that same logic applied to vegetables! She is militantly against eating anything green, so I have to find ways to sneak it into her meals.
Recently we were at a birthday party for one of her school friends. We had two completely different experiences. To hear it from her, it was the best time she ever had. But for me it was the worst! I don't expect much from these events. I know they are for children but usually that's right up my alley, not this party. From hearing "It's Your Birthday, Bitch" being played loudly on the stereo to the cloud of smoke that filled the home and the unkind stares and lack of greeting from the family, I am surprised I lasted as long as I did there. My kid was having fun though and seemed oblivious to just how much she stood out from the majority of the guests. My baby don't twerk, not yet anyway and she barely has rhythm but it doesn't stop her from trying. She was out on that dance floor doing her best and having fun. I do it for her. I go to these events and try to mingle with parents who are often 10+ years my junior so my kid isn't ostracized from her classmates.
Typically, my kids don't leave my house unless it's with an adult I know and trust. They both go to school in the same neighborhood we live in so the invitation to go to whoever's house is a new norm. I reject her pleas to go every time she asks. All school year our big argument was about her making plans among her friends to do something. And like a broken record I tell her,
"Kids don't make plans, grown-ups do!"
That's her mantra for the the upcoming school year too. One time she got cute and got one of the parents to ask me if she could come over and I felt compelled to say 'sure' but not anymore! After that party, I'm going to be quick and swift with my 'NO' hopefully not to offend a parent but to make it clear to my child, I don't care who she enlists, she will not be in her friend's house without me and I don't have the time or desire to go.
It's funny because I was her when I was her age. I used to beg my Mama to take me to the playground, let me go to whoever's house, make plans that she was supposed to adhere to! Now it's my turn and I finally understand her point of view. The job is to keep them safe, give them what they need but also make sure they are in an environment that is conducive with your values. They are paying attention to everything, even the stuff you think they aren't.
I was blown away, that my child knew that about me! First of all, I hardly ever get to write while they are awake. Secondly, she notices the world outside of herself? LOL, I kid but really?
Motherhood is a seemingly selfless act, you give and you give and expect nothing in return, definitely not being noticed by your children but what she said taught me, that she IS paying attention. Maybe not to my words all the time but definitely to my actions. When she wakes up in the morning, it's not unusual for her to find me on the computer, writing something. I take a journal and pen with me everywhere I go and as back-up I have been known to use the notepad app on my phone. She sees me doing these things and knows that I write. She may not know what but she knows I am writing something. Her awareness has made me more aware.
The habits I want her to adopt first have to be modeled by me. Like I want her to drink more water, so now I almost exclusively drink ice water when we are home and even carry some with me, when we go out. She has noticed and has begun to drink it more often too. Now, if only that same logic applied to vegetables! She is militantly against eating anything green, so I have to find ways to sneak it into her meals.
Recently we were at a birthday party for one of her school friends. We had two completely different experiences. To hear it from her, it was the best time she ever had. But for me it was the worst! I don't expect much from these events. I know they are for children but usually that's right up my alley, not this party. From hearing "It's Your Birthday, Bitch" being played loudly on the stereo to the cloud of smoke that filled the home and the unkind stares and lack of greeting from the family, I am surprised I lasted as long as I did there. My kid was having fun though and seemed oblivious to just how much she stood out from the majority of the guests. My baby don't twerk, not yet anyway and she barely has rhythm but it doesn't stop her from trying. She was out on that dance floor doing her best and having fun. I do it for her. I go to these events and try to mingle with parents who are often 10+ years my junior so my kid isn't ostracized from her classmates.
Typically, my kids don't leave my house unless it's with an adult I know and trust. They both go to school in the same neighborhood we live in so the invitation to go to whoever's house is a new norm. I reject her pleas to go every time she asks. All school year our big argument was about her making plans among her friends to do something. And like a broken record I tell her,
"Kids don't make plans, grown-ups do!"
That's her mantra for the the upcoming school year too. One time she got cute and got one of the parents to ask me if she could come over and I felt compelled to say 'sure' but not anymore! After that party, I'm going to be quick and swift with my 'NO' hopefully not to offend a parent but to make it clear to my child, I don't care who she enlists, she will not be in her friend's house without me and I don't have the time or desire to go.
It's funny because I was her when I was her age. I used to beg my Mama to take me to the playground, let me go to whoever's house, make plans that she was supposed to adhere to! Now it's my turn and I finally understand her point of view. The job is to keep them safe, give them what they need but also make sure they are in an environment that is conducive with your values. They are paying attention to everything, even the stuff you think they aren't.
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