Clueless Mama and the Curse of the Swollen Eyes
It's been a challenging couple weeks. First, my baby girl got strep throat and had to be out of school for a week. Then directly after that me and my whole family got a mysterious respiratory infection-like illness that mainly had us coughing up copious amounts of phlegm. It was awful because initially it was painful to cough or talk or breathe even! Then it took away our appetite and our ability to taste food! We still don't have our appetites' quite back yet but not being able to delight in the foods that bring us comfort? Despicable! So we were out for a good two weeks, whatever it was I never wanna see her again!
Now we are dealing with allergy season and her relentless assault on my son's eyes and face! Not even Benadryl seems to be enough, his poor eyes are so red and runny. He has the stuffy nose and sneezing, needless to say my Boo has the blues and I feel so frustrated with myself! I knew from last year how serious his allergies were and I had bought everything, eye drops, etc. But when I needed them on this day they were no where to be found!
Part of this is my sneaky ass kids fault for going through my drawers and playing with any and everything they could find and destroy. They think I don't know about their little science experiments using whatever they can find but I know and am complicit most times, anything to get them out my face for a few minutes but it's mainly my fault for not securing the important stuff and placing them up and away from little hands. It's as if I never bought anything for his allergies, if it wasn't for me finding the Benadryl earlier he probably would've spontaneously combusted by now!
The kicker in all of this chaos is still missing my Mama at all moments of every day, especially when I'm not well. Tending to these children and their complaints on top of feeling like a wet sack of pooh, most days I didn't even wanna get out of bed but that's nothing new. As "mommy" you do what you must. But now in this moment of reflection I notice what's toughest for me to accept. When I started this motherhood journey, Ma was there. Every recap, every panicked call she was there to give her sage wisdom and without it, it feels like I'm flying solo, not so much sad anymore it feels more like resentful? Which is confusing. Obviously, I have some issues to work out. And writing them here helps but more is required, especially on those days when it feels like I'm sinking. This post just got intense so on to sleep I go, with hopes it will all be better tomorrow.
Good night
Now we are dealing with allergy season and her relentless assault on my son's eyes and face! Not even Benadryl seems to be enough, his poor eyes are so red and runny. He has the stuffy nose and sneezing, needless to say my Boo has the blues and I feel so frustrated with myself! I knew from last year how serious his allergies were and I had bought everything, eye drops, etc. But when I needed them on this day they were no where to be found!
Part of this is my sneaky ass kids fault for going through my drawers and playing with any and everything they could find and destroy. They think I don't know about their little science experiments using whatever they can find but I know and am complicit most times, anything to get them out my face for a few minutes but it's mainly my fault for not securing the important stuff and placing them up and away from little hands. It's as if I never bought anything for his allergies, if it wasn't for me finding the Benadryl earlier he probably would've spontaneously combusted by now!
The kicker in all of this chaos is still missing my Mama at all moments of every day, especially when I'm not well. Tending to these children and their complaints on top of feeling like a wet sack of pooh, most days I didn't even wanna get out of bed but that's nothing new. As "mommy" you do what you must. But now in this moment of reflection I notice what's toughest for me to accept. When I started this motherhood journey, Ma was there. Every recap, every panicked call she was there to give her sage wisdom and without it, it feels like I'm flying solo, not so much sad anymore it feels more like resentful? Which is confusing. Obviously, I have some issues to work out. And writing them here helps but more is required, especially on those days when it feels like I'm sinking. This post just got intense so on to sleep I go, with hopes it will all be better tomorrow.
Good night
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