Relax, Relate, Release
"Relax, relate, release."
This is a chant I recalled from an episode of A Different World, when Whitley needed to achieve calm she would say it for relief from her moment of stress.
There's so much going on in my world right now. Like my husband is starting a new job and attending training in Texas for almost a week, after a few months of working I'm noticing my own challenges and trying to improve them for my students, and finally a letter I got from my son's teacher really got me in my feelings.
I have avoided being a single mother, all of my parenting years. When I say single, I mean sole parental provider for consecutive spans of time. When my husband would leave for work overseas for a full week every now and then at his previous jobs, I would retreat to my Mama's house where both my child and I would get pampered and shown so much love and comfort, I'd almost forget about missing my hubby! Parenting is such a tough job, having that other parent to play defense for your sanity is something I have tried to never take for granted.
In my early years of motherhood, I remember having a dream so upsetting I had to share it with my Mama for her to make sense of it for me and somehow make it better because, that's what she did best. In the dream I had somehow loss my husband and was suddenly alone and the mother of two. At the time I was a new mother of one so the thought of having two kids seemed dauntless. But in the dream she was a toddler and this second child was my infant son, nevertheless I had two kids and had to figure out how to be their Mama without their Dad and it scared me. When I told my Mama, she could hear my distress and she calmed me with her own version of "Relax, relate, release," which was "You got what I got." Meaning, if she could do it then so could I. She also added that I would never be alone, she would always be there to have my back.
And I knew she always would.
Now I'm writing this ending having completed the week of single motherhood and it was tough but like my Mama said, I got what she got so I survived! Things were different, I was more on edge but we made it the week. His new gig will have him away like this more and I'm feeling more at ease that I will handle whatever challenges arise, since I know she still has my back.
This is a chant I recalled from an episode of A Different World, when Whitley needed to achieve calm she would say it for relief from her moment of stress.
There's so much going on in my world right now. Like my husband is starting a new job and attending training in Texas for almost a week, after a few months of working I'm noticing my own challenges and trying to improve them for my students, and finally a letter I got from my son's teacher really got me in my feelings.
I have avoided being a single mother, all of my parenting years. When I say single, I mean sole parental provider for consecutive spans of time. When my husband would leave for work overseas for a full week every now and then at his previous jobs, I would retreat to my Mama's house where both my child and I would get pampered and shown so much love and comfort, I'd almost forget about missing my hubby! Parenting is such a tough job, having that other parent to play defense for your sanity is something I have tried to never take for granted.
In my early years of motherhood, I remember having a dream so upsetting I had to share it with my Mama for her to make sense of it for me and somehow make it better because, that's what she did best. In the dream I had somehow loss my husband and was suddenly alone and the mother of two. At the time I was a new mother of one so the thought of having two kids seemed dauntless. But in the dream she was a toddler and this second child was my infant son, nevertheless I had two kids and had to figure out how to be their Mama without their Dad and it scared me. When I told my Mama, she could hear my distress and she calmed me with her own version of "Relax, relate, release," which was "You got what I got." Meaning, if she could do it then so could I. She also added that I would never be alone, she would always be there to have my back.
And I knew she always would.
Now I'm writing this ending having completed the week of single motherhood and it was tough but like my Mama said, I got what she got so I survived! Things were different, I was more on edge but we made it the week. His new gig will have him away like this more and I'm feeling more at ease that I will handle whatever challenges arise, since I know she still has my back.
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