Color Me BLACK
When I was a kid my Mama handled the topic of colorism quite nonchalantly.
She didn't really discuss it.
There were terms I just wasn't allowed to use i.e "light-skin" or "dark-skin". It made for more abstract descriptions of Black folk but it also forced me to go deeper and look beyond the obvious.
I know that sounds difficult in this day and age where race and color are everywhere in society. But like most things I'm realizing too late, my Mama was ahead of her time. She must've known it was going to come up at some point in my formative years and instead decided to shut it down! This is the kind of intuitiveness I miss. She always seemed to follow her instincts and in every conversation we ever had, she implored me to do the same.
But why the avoidance? We live in America where at one point paper bags were actually used to divide people of color, a piece of history her own sorority wishes to forget. We live in a country where seemingly, the fairer your pigment also means the more lucrative your gains.
Nevertheless, today I am faced with confronting my own child's perceptions of her skin. I asked her to describe what pretty meant to her, after hearing her call a doll 'pretty' earlier in the day. She said she thought "white-brown" skin was prettier. And I was caught off guard.
[Check out The Doll Test...http://www.naacpldf.org/brown-at-60-the-doll-test]
I immediately began to think about the images I am portraying and some that I am even forcing despite her laments. Like when we shop for dolls I tell her that 'I don't buy white babies'. But damn if those aren't the ones she gravitates to the most! I then have to search for the browner equivalent, if they are even available. But I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. Though my husband and I do our part, we constantly give her praise from the inside-out, the world around her is sending her messages I assumed she was too young to perceive. And you know what they say, when you assume...
From the YouTube videos she is obsessed with to the commercials played during her favorite cartoons and even the talk among her classmates in school, they all play a part in shaping her vision of the world and herself. Because my Mama had banned certain language from being used, it kind of made it difficult for me to tell her about my own instances with colorism that came up throughout my school years. And it prevented me from hearing about her issues with it as well.
Now I have to figure out my next plan of attack, to further fight for my daughter's enlightened self awareness hopefully before she hears about skin bleachers and the complex world of make-up. Or if she's like me, when she studies African-American history in college, it really changed my perception! I'm almost seven years into this motherhood thing, I didn't think I would have to fight this so soon. But when I consider the alternative, my daughter's love of self, both inside and out it's completely worth it, so I'm ready!
She didn't really discuss it.
There were terms I just wasn't allowed to use i.e "light-skin" or "dark-skin". It made for more abstract descriptions of Black folk but it also forced me to go deeper and look beyond the obvious.
I know that sounds difficult in this day and age where race and color are everywhere in society. But like most things I'm realizing too late, my Mama was ahead of her time. She must've known it was going to come up at some point in my formative years and instead decided to shut it down! This is the kind of intuitiveness I miss. She always seemed to follow her instincts and in every conversation we ever had, she implored me to do the same.
But why the avoidance? We live in America where at one point paper bags were actually used to divide people of color, a piece of history her own sorority wishes to forget. We live in a country where seemingly, the fairer your pigment also means the more lucrative your gains.
Nevertheless, today I am faced with confronting my own child's perceptions of her skin. I asked her to describe what pretty meant to her, after hearing her call a doll 'pretty' earlier in the day. She said she thought "white-brown" skin was prettier. And I was caught off guard.
[Check out The Doll Test...http://www.naacpldf.org/brown-at-60-the-doll-test]
I immediately began to think about the images I am portraying and some that I am even forcing despite her laments. Like when we shop for dolls I tell her that 'I don't buy white babies'. But damn if those aren't the ones she gravitates to the most! I then have to search for the browner equivalent, if they are even available. But I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. Though my husband and I do our part, we constantly give her praise from the inside-out, the world around her is sending her messages I assumed she was too young to perceive. And you know what they say, when you assume...
From the YouTube videos she is obsessed with to the commercials played during her favorite cartoons and even the talk among her classmates in school, they all play a part in shaping her vision of the world and herself. Because my Mama had banned certain language from being used, it kind of made it difficult for me to tell her about my own instances with colorism that came up throughout my school years. And it prevented me from hearing about her issues with it as well.
Now I have to figure out my next plan of attack, to further fight for my daughter's enlightened self awareness hopefully before she hears about skin bleachers and the complex world of make-up. Or if she's like me, when she studies African-American history in college, it really changed my perception! I'm almost seven years into this motherhood thing, I didn't think I would have to fight this so soon. But when I consider the alternative, my daughter's love of self, both inside and out it's completely worth it, so I'm ready!
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